Yesterday I turned 29 and I have to say, this year's birthday feels very strange. I am not in the heart of my 20's, but I am not in my 30's yet either. My 20's were filled with so many huge life changes. It felt like I spent my 20's laying down a foundation for the rest of my life. I did not know what sort of building I was creating, but I just kept collecting the bricks and planned on something grand.
Here is what I have learned in my 20's:
-Your friends are so important. You will know who your real friends are after big life changes like break ups, moves, bad boyfriends, weird hair styles, religious stages, babies, new jobs, new friends, weight loss, weight gain, marriages, bad bridesmaids dresses, drunken nights... everything. You will know who your friends are because if they are still standing next to you and have loved you through your 20's, then they are real friends. If they are newer friends, hopefully by the end of your 20's, you have learned enough about people and know how to let the good ones in. (In my case, I am so happy to have some old friends who have gone through alot with me and have picked up some friends along the way who I know will be there with me through my 30's next.) If you are lucky enough to have good friends in your life, let them know how much they mean to you. Always rejoice with them during the good times and sympathize in the bad times. Be their rock when they need it and be honest with them. You are the company you keep, so keep people in your life who are positive and make you shine too. If your friends keep you down, say nasty things about you to others, or make you feel inferior, then honey... they are not your friends.
-Your Career does not define you. I want to be successful. I want to have a career that I love. I want to leave a dent in the company I work for. For the most part, I think that I have accomplished alot. I do love the company I work for. I love the people, I love it when I am given interesting projects that give me alot of pride. BUT... my personal relationships, my life outside of work, my passions - define me.
-Pick your mate wisely. DO NOT settle. Do not stay in bad relationships. In my early 20's I got into a bad relationship. He was older and had some severe emotional issues. He transferred them to me and made age 21 to 22.5 an awful chapter in my life. I can not think of one good thing to say about that year and a half. I was hurt by him in so many ways. He knew I was alot younger than him, and naive and he took advantage of my lack of strength. I used to regret that chapter and wished that I could erase it. But I am married now to an AMAZING man. A man who would do anything for me. My husband builds me up, encourages all of my good qualities. He brings out the very best in me. When we started to date, I was so cautious and careful to let him in. He was cautious too, being just a year out of a bad relationship as well. Our relationship grew and blossomed and we fed it like a new seed planted in healthy soil. I say healthy soil, because after both of our bad relationships, we took time nurturing our souls, re-building our hearts, and strengthening our core and laying down the foundations for our next relationships. We were honest from day one with each other, where we saw our lives heading. We did not try to make ourselves work either. Sometimes people try and try in a relationship when they really should just give up. If you have an ounce of doubt that you don't belong with someone... then you probably don't belong with each other.
-See all you can. Do things. Enjoy life. Eat drink and be merry! Life is so short. None of us truly knows the answers that unlock the universe and no one knows what happens when we die. I know it's a morbid thought, but it's true. Do what makes you happy, as long as it doesn't hurt another person. Go out and explore and take in as much as this earth as you can. You live once.
-Embrace your quirks. Love your weirdness. We are all a little weird. We all have little quirks that maybe we wish we didn't, but it's ok. Those quirks make you who you are and when you think about it... you are pretty amazing.
-Don't over think things. Don't take too much time dwelling on what could have been. This one is so hard for me still but I am working on it. You don't have a time machine most likely and thank God for that because this is where you are at in life now. We all have the compass to our own life, so if you are unhappy, then fix it. Don't look back longingly, look forward optimistically. If you sit and over think it and dwell on it, it just will make you sick. Take what you learned and move on, otherwise, you are just letting that negative energy live rent free in that pretty little head of yours.
-Be healthy!! Put good things into your body!! There is absolutely no nutritional value in fast food. Sorry. I am not going to get all preachy and try to convince you that I have all of the healthy answers... because my body did not get this way from eating salads all my life. And I am not going to rant on and like I am so much better than my old unhealthy eating self. BUT, I will tell you that since giving up fast food (except Subway), I have never felt better. NEVER. I know that I have some emotional eating issues too. I know where it started and I know when and why it flared up. But this past New Years, I made a choice that I was going to stop throwing away money and giving it to big companies who thrive off making unhealthy foods and marketing them to children and poor people. YES poor people. Don't believe me, watch Weight of a Nation on HBO and then let's discuss it. I don't want to be skinny. I like having curves. I would love to be thinner yes, and I am working on it slowly. I want my changes to not be a diet, but a lifestyle change. I don't want to give the same habits to my future children. I want to live till 100. You can not live to be an old lady stuffing your face with empty calories.
-Make peace with your demons. Listen, we all have awful shit happen to us. We all go through changes and events that hurt us. We all have been victims in life. We are bullied, we bully, we make bad choices, we fuck up. We are human. We experience sadness and loss and feel sorry for ourselves, but you gotta keep swimming. We have to believe that life will get better because we have to if we want to live. It's ok to feel emotion and to feel the pain. But do yourself a favor and let yourself heal.
Ok, so I was not meaning to make this a whole thing, but I start writing and then I can not shut up. Want to see what I wore for my birthday beach bonfire?? I have never posted pics of me ANYWHERE in such little clothing. Wait scratch that! I have taken nude pics in creeks.. and I had one posted earlier, but anxiety won and I took it down.
Anywho, here are my beach pics:
Ok, so bummed that I can not find the top on Walmart.com, but check out your local stores. This was a top that you bought based on your bra size. I bought a 38D, a little smaller than what I normally wear, but it fit great!!
Bottoms: Torrid, size 3
Tan: Thank you sunshine and Mystic Tan!!
Thanks for reading! Thanks for being readers. I enjoy blogging so much! Here is to 29!!!