Here we go again, another work week! I have been a little uninspired with outfits these past few weeks. I think it's a combination of the weird kind of warm weather that Southern California has been experiencing and some discontent with my body that I have been feeling. I really love my curves, but I have been feeling unhealthy lately and I want to make some changes. I hate saying that I am going on a diet, because the word diet makes me instantly think about failing. Also, I tend to get very hard on myself when I fail. In high school, I battled a bit of bulimia. From age 14-17, I would binge and purge and even though I never achieved "skinny" in high school, I somehow found "control" in what I was doing. It took me a couple years to start loving my body and loving my curves. It was actually a French Transsexual named Bianca that helped me tremendously with my body image issue. How you may ask? Well let me tell you...
I was 18 and working as a waitress at a small diner called Spires. I worked the swing shift and especially after high school, I worked late. There was this beautiful, well-spoken, older woman that would come in, sit at the counter, order pie and flirt with the old men. She and I would talk alot about France, fashion, men and beauty. I found out through my boss that "she" used to be a "he." I knew she looked slightly different, but she did have alot of work done on her face and her boobs were clearly fake, but I had never met a Transsexual before. I guess I was a little naive. Finding out about who she used to be never concerned me. She was a nice person and wore some pretty amazing outfits, and she interested me immensely. I never let her know that I knew, but I think she knew.
One night, while I was cleaning out the pie cabinet, which was right in front of the counter where she would sit, she watched me so intensely. I was a little insecure at first, but when I resumed my waitress duties and poured her some coffee, she leaned in and said, "Nicole, do you realize how beautiful and sexy you are?" Her French accent was so strong that I hardly understood what she said. I asked her to repeat what she said and she told me again. This time she told me that I had an amazing womanly body and that alot of women would be envious to have some of my curves. She also told me that one day, I will meet a man who would adore my curves (I did and I married him!) Me, always feeling like a fat ass, just laughed... but in the inside I was beyond flattered. She did not tell me in a sexual way. It was not uncomfortable, it was just nice hearing it from someone who I thought was incredibly worldly, graceful, glamorous and sophisticated.
I don't know what clicked for me that day. Of course, I still had some body issues to work out, but she changed something in me that night. I wish I knew where to find her, I would thank her.
So, back to the "diet" thing. I am not going on a diet. I don't ever want to go back to the place I was in high school. I just want to make some changes. No soda, no fast food, no more bad food choices! I am going to eat much more Mediterranean. Lot's of hummus, veggies, fish, chicken, fruit, legumes and whole grains. I think that I can do this. I would honestly be happy if I could go down a few sizes.
I know that I took a while to get to the OOTD, but here you go!
Wrap dress: Old Navy
What do you think of my specs? I have to go get an eye test because it feels like the prescription is off. The glasses are super old, but I love them.
Long Sleeve Tee: Old Navy
Boots: Torrid (branded, not Torrid brand)
Necklace: Old Torrid
My hair looked cute. It was an accident.
I love a good statement necklace.
So funny, my friend Suzy wore the same necklace that day to work.RANDOM.